
the most disheartening feeling is spiraling again after being okay for a while





one of my symptoms I hate most is that I “want” to hurt. I “want” to be in the worst situations possible. I “want” to sabotage myself. That means it’s in my impulsive plans, when I’m actually in the situation it’s not something I want at all. but I desire it as if it’s something good. and I don’t get why I have that.


“I tried everything. I smoked, drank, drove 100 on the freeway. Anything to make my heart feel the way it did when it beat next to yours.”
– me


